Sunday, 9 August 2015

Dividing time between wives - العثيمين

Question:

Eminent shaykh, a man has two wives and each lives a far distance away and thus it isn’t feasible for him to divide the duration of staying at each of them equally –keeping in mind that the location of his business is in the same place as one of the wives- which leads him to spend more time with her than the other one. Is this husband sinful in this situation?

Answer:

It is looked; are the two wives pleased with this situation or not? If they are, then the matter is easy and clear, because the rights belong to them so if they agree with what he is doing then there is no problem.
But if each of them was to demand her right, then it is a must on him to correct the situation: so if he stays six day with one of them then it is obligatory to stay six days with the other one; this is if it is difficult for him to travel every day [and be one day here and one day there], or divide the duration to whatever they agree upon [two days each, three, four…..].




Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah)
Silsilah Liqaa Baabul Maftuh : 21/66
Translated by Abu Umar

Dividing fairly between one's wives


Narrated Abu Hurayrah: The Prophet ﷺ said: ❝When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side (his shoulder) hanging down.❞

[Sunan Abu Dawood (2133) and graded as “Saheeh ” by Shaikh al-Albaanee ]



روي عن أبي هريرة عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال : 

" من كانت له امرأتان فمال إلى إحداهما جاء يوم القيامة وشقه مائل "

 

 وفي إسناده نظر - (رواه : أبو داود (2/242) والترمذي (3/447) والنسائي (7/64) وابن ماجه (1/633) وصححه الحافظ ابن حجر في "بلوغ المرام" (3/310)  والألباني "إرواء الغليل " (7/80) ) -  

 

 

 

 

وَلَنْ تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ وَإِنْ تُصْلِحُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا

And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] thus leaving another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah – then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful. [4:129]
يخبر تعالى أنه ليس في قدرة الأزواج العدل التام بين زوجاتهم، فإن العدل التام يقتضي أن يكون الداعي والحب على السواء، والميل القلبي على السواء، ويقتضي مع ذلك الإيمان الصادق، والرغبة في مكارم الأخلاق للعمل بمقتضى ذلك، وهذا متعذر غير ممكن، فلذلك عذر الله الأزواج، وعفا عنهم عما لا يقدرون عليه، ولكنه أمرهم بالعدل الممكن فقال: {فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ} [النساء: 129] أي: لا تميلوا إلى إحداهن عن الأخرى ميلا كثيرا، بحيث لا تؤدون حقوقهن الواجبة، بل افعلوا مستطاعكم من العدل، فالنفقة والكسوة والقسم في المبيت والفراش ونحو ذلك مقدور، فعليكم العدل فيها بينهن، بخلاف الحب والوطء وتوابع ذلك، فالعبد لا يملك نفسه فعذره الله . ـ
Allah informs us that it is not within the power of a husband to be completely equal between his wives, for completely equal treatment would require his desire of and love towards each of his wives to be the same and that his heart’s inclination towards each is the same. And in addition to that, it would require true eemaan and an aspiration to have noble manners in order for him to behave with what completely equal treatment of his wives would entail. And that is something that is not feasible, nor is it possible. Therefore, Allah has excused and pardoned the husbands for what they are not able to do. However, He did command them with a type of equal treatment which is possible, for He said:

فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ

So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging [4:129]
meaning: do not incline towards one of them over another in a significant way, such that you would not give them their obligatory rights. Rather, you should be as just and equal as you are able. This applies to spending, clothing, housing, the division of one’s nights among them, and so on. This is something you can do. It is incumbent upon you to be fair and equal with each one of your wives regarding these things. This is in contrast to the issues of love, intercourse, and related matters, for the slave does not have complete control over his own self, and so Allah has excused him.
وقوله: {فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ} [النساء: 129] يعني: أن الزوج إذا مال عن زوجته وزهد فيها ولم يقم بحقوقها الواجبة، وهي في حباله أسيرة عنده صارت كالمعلقة التي لا زوج لها فتستريح، ولا ذات زوج يقوم بحقوقها، وإن تصلحوا فيما بينكم وبين زوجاتكم بوجه من وجوه الصلح كما تقدم، وبمجاهدة أنفسكم على فعل ما لا تهواه النفس احتسابا وقياما بحق الزوجة، وتصلحوا أيضا فيما بينكم وبين الناس فيما تنازعتم به من الحقوق، وتتقوا الله بامتثال أمره واجتناب نهيه {فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا} [النساء: 129]. ـ

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