1. Father not pleased with the girl i want to marry & he chooses another woman from his relatives ?
2. Mother not satisfied with the women i like to marry
3. What to do if the father doesnt marry his daughter to a suitable deeni person of good character who proposes her ?
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قال الشيخ- ابن باز - رحمه الله -:
وعلى البنات في حال منع والدهن من تزويجهن أن يتكلمن معه بالكلام الطيّب والاسلوب الحسن لعله يلين أو ينفع فيه الكلام فإن لم يستطعن ذلك أو لم يجدي يستعن فيمن يرين فيه الخير من الأقارب كأعمامه وأقاربه الذين يقدرهم ويحترمهم لعلهم يشفعون لهن وينصحونه فإن لم يتيسر لهن من يقوم بذلك ولم يجدي فيه مثل هذا فلا مانع من رفع الشكوى إلى القاضي .. اهـ.
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السؤال:
المستمع من جيزان يقول: إنه يرغب الزواج من فتاة ارتضاها لنفسه، لكن الوالد غير، موافق ويرغب بتزويجه من فتاة من أقربائه، علماً بأنها لا تصلي، ماذا عساي أن أفعل أرشدوني وأنصحوني مأجورين؟
Ans : http://www.albaidha.net/vb/showthread.php?t=59838 المستمع من جيزان يقول: إنه يرغب الزواج من فتاة ارتضاها لنفسه، لكن الوالد غير، موافق ويرغب بتزويجه من فتاة من أقربائه، علماً بأنها لا تصلي، ماذا عساي أن أفعل أرشدوني وأنصحوني مأجورين؟
2. Mother not satisfied with the women i like to marry
[السؤال: ]
فضيلة الشيخ، قد عقدت زواجي على امرأةٍ لا ترضى عليها أمي؛ لا لدينها، وإنما لا تحبها لأنها لم ترق لها فقط، ما هي نصيحتك يا شيخنا مع العلم أني قد عقدت عليها؟ وجزاكم الله خيراً.
الجواب:
http://www.albaidha.net/vb/showthread.php?t=59839فضيلة الشيخ، قد عقدت زواجي على امرأةٍ لا ترضى عليها أمي؛ لا لدينها، وإنما لا تحبها لأنها لم ترق لها فقط، ما هي نصيحتك يا شيخنا مع العلم أني قد عقدت عليها؟ وجزاكم الله خيراً.
الجواب:
3. What to do if the father doesnt marry his daughter to a suitable deeni person of good character who proposes her ?
رفع ولاية الأب إذا امتنع من تزويج بناته من الأكفاء
http://www.albaidha.net/vb/showthread.php?t=59178
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قال الشيخ- ابن باز - رحمه الله -:
وعلى البنات في حال منع والدهن من تزويجهن أن يتكلمن معه بالكلام الطيّب والاسلوب الحسن لعله يلين أو ينفع فيه الكلام فإن لم يستطعن ذلك أو لم يجدي يستعن فيمن يرين فيه الخير من الأقارب كأعمامه وأقاربه الذين يقدرهم ويحترمهم لعلهم يشفعون لهن وينصحونه فإن لم يتيسر لهن من يقوم بذلك ولم يجدي فيه مثل هذا فلا مانع من رفع الشكوى إلى القاضي .. اهـ.
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http://www.albaidha.net/vb/showthread.php?t=58392
“Neither the father, or anyone other than the father, may force a woman who is under his guardianship to marry a man that she does not wish to marry. In fact her permission must be sought first. Allaah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “A previously married women (without a husband) must not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin is not married until her permission is sought.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission sought? So he said: “By her being silent.”7 Another narration states: “Her silence is her permission.”8 Yet a third narration states: “A virgin’s father seeks her permission, and her permission is her remaining silent.”9 So the father must seek her permission if she is nine years of age or above. Likewise, her other guardians may not marry her off except by her permission. This is obligatory upon them all. If a lady is married without her permission, then the marriage will not be correct. This is because one of the conditions of a marriage contract is that both partners accept the marriage freely. So if she is married without her permission, by threat or coercion, then the marriage is null and void… If the (apparent) husband knows that she does not want him, then he should not approach the woman, even if the father approves of it. He must fear Allaah and not approach any wife that does not want him, even if the father claims that he did not coerce her. The man must avoid what Allaah has forbidden him. This is because Allaah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam ordered that her permission be sought.
FORCING A YOUNG LADY TO MARRY A MAN THAT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO MARRY
[Q]: Is it allowed for a father to force his daughter to marry a particular man that she does not want to marry?
[A]: Shaykh Ibn Baaz – hafidhahullaah – responded by saying:
“Neither the father, or anyone other than the father, may force a woman who is under his guardianship to marry a man that she does not wish to marry. In fact her permission must be sought first. Allaah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “A previously married women (without a husband) must not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin is not married until her permission is sought.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission sought? So he said: “By her being silent.”7 Another narration states: “Her silence is her permission.”8 Yet a third narration states: “A virgin’s father seeks her permission, and her permission is her remaining silent.”9 So the father must seek her permission if she is nine years of age or above. Likewise, her other guardians may not marry her off except by her permission. This is obligatory upon them all. If a lady is married without her permission, then the marriage will not be correct. This is because one of the conditions of a marriage contract is that both partners accept the marriage freely. So if she is married without her permission, by threat or coercion, then the marriage is null and void… If the (apparent) husband knows that she does not want him, then he should not approach the woman, even if the father approves of it. He must fear Allaah and not approach any wife that does not want him, even if the father claims that he did not coerce her. The man must avoid what Allaah has forbidden him. This is because Allaah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam ordered that her permission be sought.
We also advise the woman to fear Allaah
and to accept the man if her father finds that he suitable to marry her,
as long as the prospective groom is good in his Religion and in his
character. This is also the case if the one who is the guardian is not
the girl’s father. We give this advice because there is a lot of good
and a lot of benefit in marriage. Likewise, there are a lot of hazards
in living as a maiden. So I advise all young ladies to accept those men
who come to them for marriage, if they conform to the compatibility
factors of marriage (i.e. good in Religion and character), they should
not use studying, teaching, or anything else, as an excuse to get
married.”10
A RELIGIOUS YOUNG MAN PROPOSED TO ME BUT MY MOTHER REFUSED
[Q]: I am seeking a solution to my
problem. I am twenty-four years old. A young man proposed to me. He has
finished college and is from a religious family. After my father agreed
to him, he asked me to come and see him. I saw him and was pleased with
him. [we saw each other] because our pure and noble Religion states that
I should see him and that he should see me. However, when my mother
came to realise that he was from a Religious family, she became harsh
against him and my father. She swore that she would not allow such a
marriage to take place. My father desperately tried to persuade her, but
to no avail. Do I have the right to seek the [Islaamic] Law to
intervene in this matter?
[A]: Shaykh Ibn Baaz – hafidhahullaah – said:
“If the matter is as you have stated in your question, then your mother has no right to object, to this matter Indeed it is actually haraam (forbidden) for her to object in this case. You are not obliged to obey your mother in this particular issue, since the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “Indeed obedience is only in ma’roof (when it is good and right).”11 And it is not from ma’roof to reject a suitable marriage proposal. In fact, it has been narrated from the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam that he said: “lf there comes to you a person whose Religion and character are pleasing to you, then marry him (i.e. give the girl in marriage to him). If you do not do this, there will be Fitnah (trial and discord) and great fasad (corruption) upon the earth.”12 If you have need to take your case to an [Islaamic] court of law, then you would not be wrong in doing so.”13
“If the matter is as you have stated in your question, then your mother has no right to object, to this matter Indeed it is actually haraam (forbidden) for her to object in this case. You are not obliged to obey your mother in this particular issue, since the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “Indeed obedience is only in ma’roof (when it is good and right).”11 And it is not from ma’roof to reject a suitable marriage proposal. In fact, it has been narrated from the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam that he said: “lf there comes to you a person whose Religion and character are pleasing to you, then marry him (i.e. give the girl in marriage to him). If you do not do this, there will be Fitnah (trial and discord) and great fasad (corruption) upon the earth.”12 If you have need to take your case to an [Islaamic] court of law, then you would not be wrong in doing so.”13
1.Fataawaa al-Mar’ah (pp.13-14).
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