Friday 20 February 2015

4 ways of attaining Good Manners - العثيمين

A person may acquire and earn good manners by way of training (himself), working hard at it and through constant practice. So he may obtain good manners through one of the following methods:

First: By contemplating on the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger: One should look up the texts that show the virtue of the particular noble characteristic that he wishes to characterize himself with. This is since, when a believer sees some texts that praise a characteristic or action, he implements them. [1]
The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) indicated this when he said:
“The example of a good companion and an evil companion is like that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk either sells you (perfume), gives you free samples or you get a pleasing smell from him. As for the example of an evil companion – such as a blacksmith – he either burns your clothes or you get a nasty smell from him.” [2]
[Reported by Al-Bukhari (no. 2101 and 5534) and Muslim (no. 146)]

Second: He should accompany those who are known for having good manners whilst staying far away from those who possess bad manners and poor actions. This is such that he turns this companionship of his into an educational institute that assists him in (his goal of) obtaining good manners.
The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let each of you look into whom he takes as a close friend.”
[Reported by At-Tirmidhee (no. 2378) who said it was hasan saheeh, Abu Dawood (no. 4833), Ahmad in al-Musnad (2/303, 334) and deemed hasan (sound) by Al-Albaani in Saheeh-ul-Jaami’ as-Sagheer (no. 3545) and Silsilat-ul-Ahaadeeth as-Saheehah (no. 927).]

Third: He should reflect on the consequences that come as a result of having bad manners. This is since a person with bad manners is despised. A person with bad manners is forsaken. A person with bad manners is always talked about in a bad way. So when one comes to realize that bad manners will lead him to all of this, he will then keep away from it.

Fourth: He should always envision an image of the Prophet’s (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) manners and how he (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) would humble himself before the creation, being kind to them, forgiving to them and patient with their harm. So if a person visualizes the Prophet’s character and the fact that he was the best of mankind and the greatest of those who worshipped Allah, he will then perceive a low image of himself and at this point the influence that arrogance has over him will be shattered and this will cause him to have good manners.

From:
Makaarim-ul-Akhlaaq (pg. 32-35)

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